modern sophisticated swinging
an open and easy, sexy style of living
The swinging lifestyle
None of us ever like that word ‘swinging’ or wife-swapping’. It’s an old fashioned term that just doesn’t explain what the swinging life-style is about any more. It’s no longer a 1970’s wife swapping lifestyle, nor is it a wife-lending culture that you might still find in some countries. It’s not a dirty smutty activity that many think it is.
Sensual, erotic, liberal living – the dream lifestyle.
It covers a wide variety of liberally thinking people from some the mildy open, to the downright kinky, and the sensually erotic. By opening up your main relationship to include experiences with other people, you get to learn and grow both physically and mentally as a human being.
What is swinging ?
It is no longer what used to be called a ´deviant´ sexual activity, it is now simply a lifestyle choice. Swinging, a.k.a. swapping or sharing, is usually where a couple decide to open up their relationship with the full consent & knowledge of the other partner. The couple are able to have a more open and sexual contact with other people. This could range from simple flirting, kissing and soft touching, up to full sex and even full friendships or relationships outside of sex.
It can be initiated from within a marriage or within a long term relationship. It has traditionally been a ‘hobby’ with more mature relationships, but is also now opening up to younger people and to shorter-term relationships. (We have written a blog post called What is Swinging ).
It’s important to remember that any swinging sexual activity is considered as recreational sex only and should not affect the primary relationship of the couple. Millions of people are swinging, so read on to see why !
Swinging – being on the scene
Yes, yet another term that’s used for a libertine or swinging lifestyle – ‘being on the scene’.
Why ? Probably because it’s really is good to look at this activity like a scene in your life, a scene of a play, or an enactment of your fantasies.
Whilst we don’t have to make this the be all and end all of our existence, it’s important to give it our full attention when on the scene.
What is it like to be a swinger ?
Exploring our mental boundaries is good for the mind. Satisfying our sexual fantasies is great for the spirit. And, we do find that grounding ourselves through our most basic, sexual desires is actually good for the body.
It can be a tricky path to do all this – knowingly, safely, and with confidence. metime youtime is written by a contributing group of people with experiences at various stages in this lifestyle. You will find people like us in this world very open and positive. Smilers, that just love life.
Already in adult Narnia, we are able to help you to navigate your way there too !
The thing is, if you met all of us, we couldn’t be more different ! You would never guess our sexual fantasies, or how we live our lives. We have the same feeling when we meet others in this very diverse, and now quite mainstream, world. We are all individuals, from modern nudists to full-on fantasy living, and the idea is simply that we allow it. No judging, just happy living in the moment, and boy does the universe then provide what we need and wish for !
8 great reasons to swing
There are so many reasons that people look to start swinging, but here are a few that spring to mind.
1. The freedom to try out sexual activities that your partner may not want to do, with no strings attached
2. It can strengthen your relationship because you learn to communicate so well
3. It can put a spark back into a long term relationship
4. Live out your fantasies in a safe community
5. Learn new things you can then try out together
6. Human beings are hard-wired to have sexual relations with multiple partners
7. It opens your mind, and develops your sexuality
and, on the lighter side,
8. The sheer enjoyment of it all. It’s such fun
First time swinging
Is it your first time swinging? If so, don’t worry – there are no definite ways to start but we have enjoyed gathering stories from everyone we have met. Here are the main reasons…
How do people start swinging ?
There are no hard and fast rules, however you want to start – do it in a way that’s comfortable for you. Going to a club to get in the mood, watching porn, talking with friends, whatever takes your fancy.
In all our experiences, it seems that quite often the woman becomes a little bi – curious. It feels safe to explore this fantasy whilst you have an already strong partnership with a man. Not many men say no to this exploration !
Swinging with friends
Some couples find that long term friendships with another couple lead to something a little stronger where all four are happy to get more tactile.
Realise a fantasy
Some relationships like to have another man involved – purely for physically sexual dates, or maybe to enact a fantasy.
Some couples are only comfortable with another couple very similar to them, and some couples are looking for something completely different ! Some are just looking for fun and want to explore sexually with someone as a one off , if and when there is a mental frisson, or a physical attraction. Whereas others are looking for a longer term relationship where they will see the same couple multiple times.
How to become swingers ?
So, what floats your boat? We’ll relay true swinger stories we have all come across in the wonderful world of swinging here. (on its way soon…). Meanwhile, do check out the specific blog post on How to Start Swinging.
How to get started in swinging
Talk to each other about it. Set the boundaries, i.e. your swinging rules.
Do your research, join a community, go to a party.
Take baby steps !
Then the rest is practice till perfect 🙂
Types of swingers
For couples, there are so many options. An extra woman (single women), an extra man ( single men), another couple, 2 other couples, a thrilling one night stand / single experience, finding friends with benefits, even developing polyamorous relationships. All these are possible. We have written a blog post about Swinging as a Couple. If you are a couple tempted to sign up to SDC ( Swingers Dating Community, also known as Seek, Develop, Create) – do it under our promo code here. If you then like what you see, and sign up fully, we will be notified and we are happy to have a look at your pictures and profile and give some feedback. We would recommend doing a minimum 3 month trial to give it a fair go.
How to get the most out of swinging as a single man
Single men on the other hand, are sometimes invited, but mostly not – and sometimes for good reason. Men in the right place at the right time, and presented in the right way, are a real asset to the swinging world. The main issue is that there are so many men wanting to play, and mostly they are presenting themselves and behaving in a way that neither women nor couples like. Not all couples want to have a single man play with them – they could be tempted – but often single men can be seen as only predatory ! Click over to our main post on the subject of Swinging as a Single Man, and we definitely will be writing more. If you are a single man wanting to join the party, why not sign up to SDC under our promo code here. We have written a 6 stage guide to writing the perfect profile and tips for single men.If you like SDC and sign up fully, we will be notified and can have a look at your pictures and profile and we are happy give some feedback that we hope will help give everyone pleasure!
What’s a unicorn ?
Single women in the swinging world are actually quite rare, so much so that they are known as a UNICORN! A lot of couples want to add an extra woman into their relationship. Single women are usually so open and confident, a breath of fresh air ! So they are made to feel so welcome by everyone, whether they want to swing with them or not.
…so which swingers community is right for me ?
You will find each country has it’s own swinger’s community website ( or more than one even ). These don’t tend to be known outside that country. The more well known ones are Fabswingers (UK) , Joyclub (German) , Swinglifestyle ( America) and (seems pan European), SDC ( owned by the Dutch, but very international, UK and U.S. popular, and pan European too. You will find it well known and in every major country ). It’s good to look into SDC vs Fabswingers vs SpicyMatch… so we did that for you in a separate post.
You will find a lot of people may be on their own domestic site, perhaps as a free member, but also on the more international SDC site.
Be aware of membership numbers. The number of member on free sites is huge but not always worth it, certainly not on its own. Membership numbers of smaller paid sites can also be misleading as they don’t take the member off when they stop paying ! It’s about quality over quantity, and you have to find the one that suits you best. Believe us, we’ve done the groundwork and would encourage you to trial the most international swinger’s website, and our favourite, SDC.com
SDC allows you to become a trial member through us for 20 days for free, and you will have access to 95% of the site during that time. There are pages and pages of information, blogs, and millions of profiles so that you can contact people. We have written a blog post on membership, and another in depth guide here. If you join using one of our links, we get notified when you move on from the trial and take up a full membership (after your free 20 days through us) so we can happily take a look at your profile after that and offer any more tips & advice if you need it. We don´t usually see trial members so we can´t help until you sign up fully – sorry ! We’ve living proof it works.
SWINGING MYTHS AND CONCERNS
Oh dear, you must have a bad marriage
Swingers tend to have great relationships – and it´s certainly necessary to have a good relationship if you want swinging to work for you. If you have a rocky relationship, yes, swinging will not fix it. If you have a strong one, it will go from strength to strength !
Oh dear, your partner will fall in love with someone else
Just like you, everyone is happy with their own partner. It’s all about you two and that little extra gift you are giving each other on top. No-one else is looking to acquire another partner either so you don’t need to worry !
Oh dear, you’re doing it with your secretary !
Well, it is possible that someone can take a f**k buddy to a party when they don’t have a partner, or when they choose not to take one. It is more rare than you think and people usually declare their relationship easily. But it’s up to you, if it’s important, (and to some of us it is vital!) to know if your swinging couple is a real couple or not.
Oh dear, you just for guaranteed sex
A real myth is that it’s easy to succeed (sex we mean) in this world. Actually, there are more misses than hits, but you realise as you go how it all is a fabulous exploration and it all makes sex better and better. Just remember this is meant to be an extra, not the main event. It help, it is exciting, it can even be better than your own partner’s sex sometimes, but that’s the gift. Live it, learn from it, want more of it, bring it back to your own relationship, and life will be eternally rosy!
Oh dear, it´s all about the man
Actually, like most things… it’s not. 😉 Men do tend to start this ball rolling, but ladies, we do like to make it spin !
Oh dear, you’re forced to take someone you don’t like
The old 60’s keys in the bowl / 70’s swing with anyone wife-swapping myths do not exist ! In this world, more than anywhere, there is an openness and respect. No means No.
The most important thing is that you communicate as a partnership, and have your rules or boundaries or signals that help you through. These will help you enormously. If you do make mistakes, just follow the same guideline and communicate and fix it. We are all human, adult, and most of all, developing in a way that will be great for us.
Oh dear, it’s all about models and mansions
More often than not, its ordinary people in ordinary places…but doing extraordinary things ! There are some dream-like fantasy parties and we will write about these for you. The dream and fantasy is in finding clubs, private, or semi-private parties that fill your fantasy boots. All is not what it seems but we can help you find your way.
THE REAL LIFE EFFECT OF SWINGING
The rewards and upsides of swinging are all brilliant.
It’s ok, because without a doubt, you will have a better relationship, simply because of better communication.
In swinging you have to communicate well to make it work. If you have a rocky relationship to begin with however, swinging is not a good way to make it better. It will make a rocky relationship collapse, but swinging can make a rock solid relationship blossom and develop. All of us behind this blog are more in love than ever !
Not everyone wants or needs new friends. Swinging for a lot of people is simply sexual pleasure or fantasies played out. For many however, particularly those in more mature relationships, swinging can also bring new friends into your life. Have a look at the “how you know you’re a swinger” blog to see how that pans out ! A lot of people don’t swing all the time, its not a weekly hobby. You will find people start and stop also, but friendships can remain. Given that these couples have been intimate with each other makes for a very easy , open and understanding friendship.
It’s ok, because swinging increases your sexual confidence (especially for women).
Having the chance to explore, be adored, and played with gives a certain confidence in your body. Knowing what you like and want gives your mind a boost. You get to appreciate all types of bodies and minds, and can surprise yourself about what appeals. Its certainly true that outward beauty can only be skin deep, and that the size of a cock has nothing to do with being a great lover !
We can help make swinging work for you
We are a group of libertines that know the modern naturist and sophisticated swinging world well. So we are here to help, from the inside out !
Whether it is via a treat to tickle your g spots, visiting a sexy club, joining a swinging community, or going on a tantalising holiday – we are in a great position to be able to guide you in the ´lifestyle´.
We've been there, done that - and can help you with everything from dipping your toe in the water to satisfying your fullest of fantasies.
So welcome on in !
The swinging blog
Are these the best swinging sites ? What’s the difference between them ? What kind of swingers do they appeal to and how will they help you experience the best swinging lifestyle ?
If you are new to swinging, please see our post on How To Start Swinging. There is no doubt that swinging couples are very common – a 2005 survey in the UK found that 25% of the population were either swinging in the UK or wanted to swing.
2. Set the boundaries / rules
3. Do your research
4. Start with baby steps !
5. Go to a club or party
There is no doubt that there is a role for single men to play in this world and some couples actively seek out the participation of the single guy in their playtime
Swinging is generally thought of as enjoying a sexual relationship with other people as well as with your long term partner. This is always done with the full consent and knowledge of your partner.
Whether we like it or not, swinging is an image based hobby. Which swinger images should you post? There are some GOLDEN RULES that generally apply to both couples and singles.
As a swinger, there are many types of swingers parties that you can attend and these range from private meetings with one other couple up to a themed ball in a castle with hundreds of people !
A list of swingers clubs in the UK, Europe, the USA with descriptions. All the famous clubs including Le Boudoir, Fun4Two, Les Chandelles, and the KitKat club.
So many new words and so many acronyms – we can help you to make sense of the secret language of swingers.
Swinging comedy 100 ways to know if you’re a swinger ! 100 ways to know if you're a swinger ! This list has been doing the rounds on the internet for ages - we saw it on SDC recently. Wish we knew who to credit for it! These little swinger tell tale stories do bring a...
A guide to using the SDC swinging website when you are travelling. Use SDC.com to post your travel plans and also to see who else will be there at the same time.
So, single men, how can you outshine the competition and get the woman of your dreams? The ladies got together to let you know !
Let us guide you through a world of simple pleasures and sexy times. Create space and openness in your life, and have fun and fulfilment all along the way.