Swinging as a couple
How does it start
Most swingers are couples – but how does it start ?
If you are new to swinging, please see our post on how to start swinging , or to go right back to the start and understand why people swing at all – click over here. Maybe we’d like to be as tan as the couple in the picture above – but you don’t need to be so young or tanned. Then again, many adventures like this start on a sexy holiday. And who knows what everyone is looking for. It can always be a pleasant surprise. That couple are probably dying to meet some equally beautifully pale northern Europeans like a few on the team here. Never say never !
Most swingers are couples & most purists would say that single people can´t be swingers, by definition. Not in real life though, click over to our single men post to see how they fit into the swinging community in reality.
There is no doubt though that swinging couples are very common – a 2005 survey in the UK found that 25% of the population were either swinging in the UK or wanted to swing. Is that a bit high? Or, how many people do you know could possibly be part of that statistic ! It’s definitely become even more popular to swing in the last five years.
In our experience, there is also definitely a lot more interest in expressing yourself sexually, getting more tactile, even swapping partners, and finding other ways to give ‘me time you time’ pleasures. Many people dream of joining in. But it’s not only the stuff that dreams are made of, so why not make it a reality for you too.
It’s good to talk !
As a couple, you have to ensure that the views, wishes, desires, and opinions of BOTH of you are respected. In any relationship, of course there will always be times when one of you is more into it than the other. Generally it makes sense to take the lowest common denominator i.e. if one of you wants to go to a swingers club and the other person doesn´t then you should not go.
Trust, honesty, and communication are important when swinging
Swinger couples need to be totally honest with each other. Talk about what you like or don´t like, about what you liked last time or didn´t like, about what feelings this all stirs up. It´s the most amazing hobby to get you to communicate with each other, but non-communication can make it a really bad idea !
Don´t expect success to be the norm – we went into it thinking that every couple we met for a social drink would be great. After all, we had seen photos of them on SDC or SpicyMatch or Fabswingers, we had read all about them, we knew what they liked and didn´t like, we knew they liked us, we could see their swinging friends, etc, etc. But you still need that chemistry, that sexual spark, and it needs to be with ALL FOUR of you and that is quite rare to find when couple swapping. Swinger sex is by no means guaranteed, even if you really want it !
Get in the groove
To understand this world, get to know the terminology here. The in-jokes are also a bit of fun, yet all very true. They’re also a good gauge as to where you are on the scale of beginner to (s)expert ! So, how many questions can you answer yes to on the list ‘you know you are a swinger if… ‘
Who’s in charge ?
With married couples swinging, it is often the case that the husband suggests starting swinging, but the wife then gets the enthusiasm to really blossom sexually and takes the reins. A swinger wife tends to relish the chance to freely express her sexuality and grow in confidence & there are many men who love to watch their wife in action.
At one end of the scale, as a woman it’s just great to have some me time and feel so liberated, and free. Free to express yourself in little or big ways and not be judged. Free to act sensually or sexually, even if it’s only subtle. Beautiful lingerie, fun or sophisticated dress-up, and toys to explore and open up your sensualities help a lot !
At the other extreme, there is even a term called ´hotwife´ where the man simply enjoys watching his wife with other men & often he won´t participate at all. For this, as a couple, you need single men ( or maybe a woman) . So click over here to get an insight to how single men operate in this swinging world.
The swinging blog
SDC & SpicyMatch are the best alternatives to Fabswingers. These websites are the best 3 swinging sites online. Discover all the pros & cons. Detailed comparison of each alternative – we’re members of them all !
2. Set the boundaries / rules
3. Do your research
4. Start with baby steps !
5. Go to a club or party
There is no doubt that there is a role for single men to play in this world and some couples actively seek out the participation of the single guy in their playtime
Swinging is generally thought of as enjoying a sexual relationship with other people as well as with your long term partner. This is always done with the full consent and knowledge of your partner.
Whether we like it or not, swinging is an image based hobby. Which swinger images should you post? There are some GOLDEN RULES that generally apply to both couples and singles.
As a swinger, there are many types of swingers parties that you can attend and these range from private meetings with one other couple up to a themed ball in a castle with hundreds of people !
A list of swingers clubs in the UK, Europe, the USA with descriptions. All the famous clubs including Le Boudoir, Fun4Two, Les Chandelles, and the KitKat club.
So many new words and so many acronyms – we can help you to make sense of the secret language of swingers.
Swinging comedy 100 ways to know if you’re a swinger ! 100 ways to know if you're a swinger ! This list has been doing the rounds on the internet for ages - we saw it on SDC recently. Wish we knew who to credit for it! These little swinger tell tale stories do bring a...
A guide to using the SDC swinging website when you are travelling. Use SDC.com to post your travel plans and also to see who else will be there at the same time.
So, single men, how can you outshine the competition and get the woman of your dreams? The ladies got together to let you know !