What is swinging ?
and why do people swing ?
What does swinging mean?
Swinging is generally thought of as enjoying a sexual relationship with other people as well as with your long term partner ( often they are married swingers). This is always done with the full consent and knowledge of your partner. Swingers tend to frown upon anything done without consent – that goes against the whole ethos of the open lifestyle.
So it’s only something that happens in a relationship that likes to be quite open, in both thinking and lifestyle. Swingers are usually relaxed people, inwardly confident because this kind of lifestyle calls for a lot of good communication, and this makes them develop generally as people, and in their relationship.
What is a swinger ?
First of all, let´s define the word swinger.
You can think of it like this. A swinger swings from one partner to another. It can be known as sharing or swapping partners. As well as partner swapping, it’s also known as wife-swapping. This term has been hanging on since the 1970’s with its wife swapping parties – also known as key parties. British mature swingers ( 50 plus ) will probably recognise this as ´keys in a bowl´ parties ( pick a random key… meaning pick a partner!). In those days, the story goes that anyone with a pampas grass in the garden was also a swinger ! It shows us how common swinging was, and still is, in the U.K. Nowadays it´s not as random as that – we are all much more empowered and get to choose who we want, and what we want, and when we want it ! We also have the benefit of modern technology now with swingers websites such as SDC that help us to find what we want 24/7.
In fact, often the emphasis is still on the woman, the wife. Why? Because she is usually in charge! Swingers will tell you that even if the man has introduced the swinging, the woman most often takes over and directs what they do as the ´hobby´ develops.
Whilst we’re on the subject of wives, ´hotwife´ is another term. It’s used to describe a swinging couple where the man is just seeking to have his wife satisfied by another man. So, couples are not necessarily always wanting a full couple swap. There are so many terms for the different forms of swingers and swinging styles, so you are bound to find what suits you when you need it.
Why do people swing ?
So, now you know what swingers are, you’re probably wondering why on earth become one ! Do they just have a huge sexual appetite? Could be, but not necessarily – sometimes it can be the opposite and swinging helps them keep a healthy sexual appetite. Sometimes its just a casual hobby, or a way for open people to meet other open people and actually they don’t have too much full on sex ! Basically it takes all sorts of people and they all fall into in many different ways for many different reasons. It’s a goodly portion of the world that does this, so people in the lifestyle are just like people not in the lifestyle ( except they are usually open in attitude and are non-judgemental, always smiling and happy and healthy ( yes they look after themselves inside and out !) and enjoying life more in general.
People outside the swinging world also often think that swinging is done by couples who have some sort of problem in their relationship or a bad marriage / partnership. But the truth is far from that. There have been many studies on the swinging world and here are some of the results.
5 benefits of swinging – you won’t believe the last one !
- Swinging couples are happier than non-swingers
- Swingers have a “very good” sex life at home
- Swingers are less stressed than other couples
- Swinging couples have better communication between the two of them in comparison with non-swinging couples
- Swingers are less likely to get an STI than other people.
If you ask any of us writing this site, it also means we have a whole new dimension of treats to give each other as birthday (or any day) sensual & romantic gifts. Dressing sexy, having a giggle trying out new toys, or just pushing our own boundaries ( checkout our beginners bondage gifts !) . It’s all possible, hugely appreciated, and you can chat about them among swinger friends too.
Who is a swinger – are there swingers near you ?
It is very hard to guess who is in the swing lifestyle – it includes young people, elderly swingers, and everybody in between. It includes doctors, gardeners, lawyers, teachers, and probably every profession under the sun. You can never guess who is and who isn’t – but once inside the community, you will forever be amazed at who they turn out to be, and how very many there are ! You will for sure have a lot of local swingers – but still you can never assume who they might be – that’s the beauty of this secret world. This is why swingers join online communities too, so that they can either meet, or avoid anyone too near to home. It’s an essential tool and the online communities help you meet people like yourselves, on holiday, or for a sexy weekend away, or simply to find new friends with benefits. We have an article comparing the three main swingers websites, and you can get links to two of them here – SDC, and SpicyMatch. The traditional view of relationships was that you found a partner for life and that you each provided 100% of the needs of that other person. Nowadays, this is seen by many as impossible to achieve & couples are questioning how one other person can satisfy 100% of your needs 100% of the time.
Swinging in the UK and in the USA is definitely becoming more mainstream – there was even a Louis Theroux swingers documentary a couple of years ago, and a UK TV channel programme about it ( there was one about dogging too, which is an altogether different thing !) There are also some dramas based on this, and more that feature real swingers and their stories ( we’ll get to sharing these with you too in time.) So real life swinging is where a couple decide to open up their relationship with the full consent & knowledge of the other partner – it can be from within marriage or within a long term relationship. The couple are able to have sexual contact with other people which could range from simple kissing and touching up to full sex. The permutations are infinite and can have both people joining in the activities, one being active while the other watches, involving another couple or a single man (or woman), or any other variation that works for that particular couple.
Why join the swinging lifestyle.
Trying to create a swingers definition is almost impossible – there really is no way you can guess who is or isn’t one. There are also so many reasons that people look to start swinging, or just want to be a part of this swinging lifestyle. It can be to add an extra dimension of sex, just as a hobby, or even as a way of developing personally. Whatever the reason, it is certainly fun, even thrilling. It brings the best out in you, and allows you to live life to the full. It’s not the be all and end all for most swingers – they may only do it a few times a year. However, you will find most swingers more relaxed about life however, usually more open-minded, and easy to get along with.
The swinging blog
SDC & SpicyMatch are the best alternatives to Fabswingers. These websites are the best 3 swinging sites online. Discover all the pros & cons. Detailed comparison of each alternative – we’re members of them all !
If you are new to swinging, please see our post on How To Start Swinging. There is no doubt that swinging couples are very common – a 2005 survey in the UK found that 25% of the population were either swinging in the UK or wanted to swing.
2. Set the boundaries / rules
3. Do your research
4. Start with baby steps !
5. Go to a club or party
There is no doubt that there is a role for single men to play in this world and some couples actively seek out the participation of the single guy in their playtime
Whether we like it or not, swinging is an image based hobby. Which swinger images should you post? There are some GOLDEN RULES that generally apply to both couples and singles.
As a swinger, there are many types of swingers parties that you can attend and these range from private meetings with one other couple up to a themed ball in a castle with hundreds of people !
A list of swingers clubs in the UK, Europe, the USA with descriptions. All the famous clubs including Le Boudoir, Fun4Two, Les Chandelles, and the KitKat club.
So many new words and so many acronyms – we can help you to make sense of the secret language of swingers.
Swinging comedy 100 ways to know if you’re a swinger ! 100 ways to know if you're a swinger ! This list has been doing the rounds on the internet for ages - we saw it on SDC recently. Wish we knew who to credit for it! These little swinger tell tale stories do bring a...
A guide to using the SDC swinging website when you are travelling. Use SDC.com to post your travel plans and also to see who else will be there at the same time.
So, single men, how can you outshine the competition and get the woman of your dreams? The ladies got together to let you know !